sm(sadomasochism)

Sadomasochism (sm) means to experience (sexual) pleasure from causing or suffering indifference, compulsion, humiliation, or the infliction of pain.

 

The term is coined from the words ‘sadism’ (derived from the 18th century aristocrat De Sade, who wrote extensively about sexual cruelty) and ‘masochism’ (from Von Masoch, who wrote the novel ‘Venus in Fur’ in the 19th century about a man who is slave to a cruel lady). Sadomasochism (sm) is also called ‘algolagnia’ which means ‘enjoyment of pain’.

 

Sadomasochism (sm): universal aspect of sexual behaviour

Like other sexual varieties, sadomasochism (sm) is also a universal aspect of sexual behaviour. It is a characteristic of the love life of most people, even if they do not realize it. Nearly everyone falls in love for the first time at a very young age, around or before the beginning of puberty. This first love is hardly ever mutual. Boys usually fall in love with out-of-reach girls who are the same age or older, so more mature and more interested in older boys or men. Girls fall in love with out-of-reach ideals, realize they are the object of desire for many undesirable boys and men, whom they consider as inferiors, beneath their interest. Anger and frustration caused by the opposite sex are aspects of these experiences. Girls often have fantasies about harassment, assault and rape, which they use as stimulation during masturbation. The big fantasy of boys is a girl who is uninhibited and obeys them in everything they want.

 

Sadomasochism (sm): superiority and inferiority

The daily experience of inequality, superiority and inferiority, which pervades family and social life, has an impact on how we relate to other people. Guilt and retribution, the need to postpone pleasure, envy of peers who are more beautiful or successful, and countless other aspects of experience, blend with sexuality when relationships between adolescents begin. It is hardly an exaggeration to say that almost all sexual relations thus contain a sadomasochistic component. We hurt each other, tie each other up, exert power over each other and find a great deal of satisfaction in doing so.

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